Some days

Some days are just harder than others. Some days I just don't want to work out. At all. But, I do it anyway. Why? Because I don't want to look back and know that I didn't. The workout is still hard. But it gets done. And, well... there's something great about that.

"But this one was harder."

At school this week, one of my 6th graders Jaden asked me to put his logic test on the achievement board. I couldn't understand why he would want me to put up this test since  he already had a math test up there with a much higher score.  When I told him he already had a great test on the board he just looked at me and, in his young wisdom, said, "But, this one was harder."

Life Lesson.

It was something I needed to relearn. We are more satisfied when we overcome difficult obstacles than when we succeed at easy things. I think I already knew that, but Jaden's reminder fueled me today as I wanted to quit after every segment of my workout. It was hard. I told myself over and over that I could do it because a part of me wasn't sure if I could. Well, I finished. And then I collapsed.

This week I did all 5 Fit Blast workouts. Woot! It feels so good to accomplish that goal I set for myself last Sunday. I was far from perfect with my nutrition this week but checking the workout box everyday and doing all 5 Fit Blasts feels amazing.

Every single day this week was a battle against that inner voice telling me I wasn't good enough. It seems like every other person in the Fit Blast FB group is killing it at a level 2 and 3 and little old me was struggling through level 1. It was really hard to not compare myself to them. But, the thing I have to realize is that I'm just at the beginning. I worked out more this week than I have in the past few years combined. That's a big deal! It feels so good.

Sometimes I'm angry that all my pants don't fit after just a few weeks of exercise (hah!) but I know this is a long journey. Each day I move toward my goal even though my progress is slow. I'm more proud of this progress than accomplishing all the easy things I do in my life. Give me this mountain!

October Fit Blast!

I've been feeling a little lost on this 30daysofexercise thing. Walking is always good. Jogging, sure. 7min HIIT, sometimes. Yoga, alright. But I've been feeling the need to get my heart rate up and my muscles a-pumping. Aside from jogging I didn't even know how to start (which is weird because it's not like I've never exercised before).

Enter JillK Fitness! I stumbled upon her via Instagram and was intrigued with her semi-monthly Fit Blasts. October just started! Looked good to me! I pulled the trigger last night and paid the measly $20 (what a deal!) for 4 weeks of workouts and loads more information, support, encouragement, etc.

Here are the results of my measurements and Fit Test because, well... I want to be depressed tonight. I kid, I kid. It's so important to know where you are, where you want to go, and especially, how far you've come. This is just the beginning after all.

Fit Test:

Three Minute Step Test: 123bpm (below average! Woot!)

Push-up Test: 9 (And, oh boy, did I work for those 9! Yeow!)

Plank Test: 54 seconds (shaking, shaking, shaking...)

Just for funzies! (I cringe!)

Measurements:

Neck: 14-1/8"

Chest: 38"

Arm: 14-3/4"

Waist: 41"

Bellybutton: 41"

Hips: 48"

Thigh: 29-1/4"

Weight: 234.0 lbs

Can you? Will you?

Weaving my way through the crowds of Disneyland, I found myself dodging more power chairs than I could imagine. It may be a harsh judgement directed towards people whose struggles I know nothing about, but it seems to me that too many people are unable to walk due to a lifetime of poor health choices. Oh, may that never be me!

I am so grateful for this body of mine. It's far from perfect but, throughout my life, I've enjoyed close to perfect health and the ability to do so many wonderful things that required physical endurance. Sadly, I ain't gettin' any younger! I hate the thought that I may be restricted by my body. So, I will fight with everything in me to remain strong, nay, to become stronger, so that I can travel, play, work, and do anything I choose.

This past month I kind of did a Whole30 (with weekends off). It was great. I dropped a few more pounds. I felt cleaner. But I also came to realize that no amount of healthy eating is going to prevent me from feeling winded by walking up the stairs.

So, with that in mind, I decided to make a different kind of change. Today starts my "Whole30" of exercise. 30 days of at least 20 minutes of exercise. The goal is to strengthen my lungs, my muscles, and my mind. I've been telling myself for months that I'm going to start exercising but it's not so easy. In fact, the hardest part of exercising is just getting out the door, onto the floor, or whatever it may be. Just beginning can prove too much. 

But, there is no time for excuses. I have a strong body. I want to be stronger. I want to feel able to do everything I want to do. I want to climb the mountain. I know I can climb the mountain. It's now up to me to take the first step.

Today's workout: C25K day one. I jiggled. I hurt. I felt stronger. I finished feeling empowered.

It's Working

235.8lbs today.
There's so much talk about how weight is only a number and one should celebrate non-scale victories. But, how can I not celebrate this?

It's overwhelming to think about how far I have left to go (ideally 60lbs - oy!) but I feel really great about how far I've come. I'm down 14lbs! I have been faithfully doing Whole30 for 20 days now. I feel good. My body feels clean and I really am enjoying what I'm eating.

Now, if I could just get myself to exercise... The thing is- it's too cold outside. And, at the end of the day I'm tired. And, I can't wake up early to do it. And, there are a million excuses! But, excuses never get you anywhere. So, I just have to do it. Just do it. So easily said, so hard to do.

Daily yoga has kind of been a bust these past weeks. One pose per night and that's it. This was not the intent. Sundays are a great day for a new beginning. Time to begin again and begin right.

Feel Good

Huzzah!!
Okay, it seem strange to celebrate the fact that I still weigh 239 lbs. But, guess what. I weight 239 lbs. And you know what that means? I dropped 10 lbs this week. TEN! Hah!
It's frightening to think of how much bloat and water weight that must have been. Just think about how much we needlessly carry around with us on a day to day basis. Whether it be water weight, stress, whatever, I think we can all afford to just LET IT GO. (I know you're singing right now.)

 I had a realization this week that I've slipped into a lazy routine as far as how I present myself to the world. It's a chicken-and-the-egg kind of situation here and I'm not sure which is the cause or effect but I've not been taking the time to look well put together. I've not been putting much effort into my dress, my makeup, my hair. I don't know if it's because I don't feel good about myself, or if I don't feel good about myself because I haven't been putting in the effort. I can do better.

Sometimes we mistake physical appearance for vanity. It is not vain to present yourself well. It is, as Coco Chanel said, politeness. A wonderful thing happens when we look good: we feel good. And when we feel good we are then capable of doing good which in turn makes us good.

So, though I may not be there yet, I'm on my way. I'm closer than I was yesterday. And, I'll look good on the rest of the journey.

Whole30 update: Eating more simply has been life changing. My previous rounds of Whole30 I felt so overwhelming. So much time went in to planning, preparing, cleaning. It was consuming. Simplifying my menu has vastly cut down my preparation and clean-up time. And I feel equally, if not more, content with what I'm eating. Yum! Now I feel much more confident that I can sustain this way of eating for the long haul.

Withdrawals

Whole30 day 2 = mOnStEr HeAdAcHe!

This is my third round of Whole30 and I've never had a headache before. Today just proves that I've been seriously overdosing on the sugar these past few months. Yikes!

It feels good to be eating real food again. I'm trying to be wise this time around and simplify my meals so as not to become too overwhelmed with the time commitment required for eating well. I'll be honest though... I was disappointed to find out that all my clothes don't fit yet. I mean, come on! It's been two days already!

Daily Yoga: I did a 15 minute core strength yoga workout and I nearly died. I have no strength. None. But, 5 days into the year and 5 days of yoga done.